It’s so easy to get caught up in bust schedules and daily life. But one of the keys that I’ve found to keeping a truly happy relationship is down time. Balance really is key. Yeah the fancy dates and trips give you all the feels, but the true joy comes from the quiet moments. Those moments cuddled up on the couch, sleeping in each others arms or sitting down at the end of the day and just talking.
It is in those moments when you truly realize why you love your partner. When theres no distractions, no outside factors, but just your love.
When Markus and I first started dating, we went on our fair share of fancy date nights. (Although I will admit that it was never our favorite thing to do.) Overtime, we’ve come to recognize just how much we love doing absolutely nothing together. Its like we plan to go on these fancy date nights and make it to the reservation we are so tired and would just rather be in our matching slippers on the couch at home. After such long weeks at tough schools, we really have an appreciation for just being able to unwind together.
I think that in most relationships there can be a pressure to always impress one another. This is of course a cursing and a blessing. Its important to always want to be your best for one another, but you also need to recognize that they love you for exactly who you are. It’s not the dates that make the relationship. If it’d true love, they aren’t with you for the fancy dates or dinners. Don’t get caught up in trying to live a life or have a relationship just for the online presence or to impress strangers, or to feel like you have to live up to some predetermined standard.
I’m extremely lucky to say that Markus really is my best friend.
Both of our schedules can be pretty crazy (don’t even get me started on West Point right now) so we always want to make the most of every second we get together. There is always a pressure online to do things that seem ‘instagram worthy’, there’s this ideal of what will make a relationship perfect. But at the end of the day the relationship will only last if both individuals prioritize it over everything. There are little traditions that we refuse to break. Something as simple as brushing our teeth together before bed or saying our nightly prayer together without fail really help us feel close. It helps us overcome the physical distance we have to face during the week.
Sharing down time and sharing those simple moments allow you to drain out the rest of the world.
Markus and I have family and friends all over the place. Family is one of the most important things for us, so every chance we have we want to see as many of them as possible. But I can say that we never forget to set aside time for us, just us. There can just be a different dynamic when there’s other people around, no matter how close you are. But I still believe it’s important every once in awhile to “book out” for a few days to focus on each other and the relationship that you and your significant other are building.
Spending time together doesn’t mean just sitting on the couch. Maybe it means a hike or some new activity that you guys have never done before. Try turning off your phones so there really are no distractions.No matter what it is, just be together. People often ask how Markus and have such a happy relationship, and I believe one of the key reasons is that we both prioritize each other and our relationship. Luckily enough, for me that also means lots of movie nights in comfy clothes with some good snacks.
Never forget to just be present, together.